The Mindset

"There is poison in the fang of the serpent, in the mouth of the fly and in the sting of a scorpion; but the wicked man is saturated with it." – Chanakya

Playing Soccer – Islamic Style

Posted by The Mindset on June 11, 2011

The following is an excerpt of a fatwa issued on “How Muslims should play the game of soccer in the Islamic way”.
So here are the 13 of the silliest portions of the fatwa, translated from the Arabic in an Op-Ed piece from the New York Times, below:

IN the name of God the merciful and benevolent:

  1. Play soccer without four lines because this is a fabrication of the heretics’ international rules that stipulate using them and delineating them before playing.
  2. International terminology that heretics and polytheists use, like “foul,” “penalty,” “corner,” “goal,” “out” and others, should be abandoned and not said. Whoever says them should be punished, reprimanded and ejected from the game. He should be publicly told, “You have imitated the heretics and polytheists and this is forbidden.
  3. Do not call “foul” and stop the game if someone falls and sprains a hand or foot or the ball touches his hand, and do not give a yellow or red card to whoever was responsible for the injury or tackle. Instead, it should be adjudicated according to Sharia rulings concerning broken bones and injuries. The injured player should exercise his Sharia rights according to the Koran and you must bear witness with him that so-and-so hurt him on purpose.
  4. Do not follow the heretics, the Jews, the Christians and especially evil America regarding the number of players. Do not play with 11 people. Instead, add to this number or decrease it.
  5. Play in your regular clothes or your pajamas or something like that, but not colored shorts and numbered T-shirts, because shorts and T-shirts are not Muslim clothing. Rather they are heretical and Western clothing, so beware of imitating their fashion.
  6. If you have fulfilled these conditions and intend to play soccer, play to strengthen the body in order to better struggle in the way of God on high and to prepare the body for when it is called to jihad. Soccer is not for passing time or the thrill of so-called victory.
  7. If neither of you beats the other, or “wins” as it is called, and neither puts the leather between the posts, do not add extra time or penalties until someone wins. No, instead leave the field, because winning with overtime and penalty kicks is the pinnacle of imitating heretics and international rules.
  8. If you play soccer, do not appoint someone to follow you called a “referee,” since there is no need for him after doing away with international rules like “foul,” “penalty,” “corner” and others. His presence would be in imitation of the heretics, Jews and Christians and would follow international rules.
  9. Young crowds should not gather to watch when you play because if you are there for the sake of sports and strengthening your bodies as you claimed, why would people watch you? You should make them join your physical fitness and jihad preparation, or you should say: “Go proselytize and seek out morally reprehensible acts in the markets and the press and leave us to our physical fitness.”
  10. If you finish playing soccer, do not talk about your game and say, “We were better than the opponent,” or “So-and-so plays well” and so on. Instead be concerned with your bodies and their strength and muscles, and say, “We played only to drill in running, attacking and retreating, and to prepare for jihad in the name of God on high.”
  11. You should spit in the face of whoever puts the ball between the posts or uprights and then runs in order to get his friends to follow him and hug him like players in America or France do, and you should punish and reprimand him, for what is the relationship between celebrating, hugging and kissing and the sports that you are practicing
  12. You should use two posts instead of three pieces of wood or steel that you erect in order to put the ball between them, meaning that you should remove the crossbar in order not to imitate the heretics and in order to be entirely distinct from the soccer system’s despotic international rules.
  13. Do not do what is called “substitution,” that is, taking the place of someone who has fallen, because this is a practice of the heretics in America and elsewhere.

These are some conditions and precepts so that morally aware youth do not inadvertently imitate heretics and polytheists when playing soccer … Hell awaits those who die playing soccer according to rules established by heretical countries, at the head of which is America.

Source : Read the full article at Planck’s

 Related Posts »

This post was republished by PH Bering in Danish. Here is the link:
Hvorfor er muslimer så stupide?


7 Responses to “Playing Soccer – Islamic Style”

  1. […] et af mine tidligere indlæg skrev jeg om hvordan man skal spille fodbold – i islamisk stil (How to Play Soccer – Islamic Style) (Disse anvisninger er virkelig komiske, o.a.) – alvorligt talt, hvis begynder at gøre tingene […]

  2. Sorry to take so long in thanking you for reposting this.

  3. […] one of my previous post I wrote about How to Play Soccer – Islamic Style – seriously if people will start doing all things in the “Islamic Style” the world will become […]

  4. Jason Lee said

    Well if they want to be really consistent with thier narrow minded attitude
    then maybe they shouldn’t be playing soccer anyway since it was invented
    by the infidels (British).
    After all anything coming from the west is potentially decadent and should be harmful to their faith.

    Exceptions can be made for things like AK-47s,stinger missiles,hand grenades,C4 explosives,dynamite etc.
    Can damage lives but I guess it doesn’t damage muslim souls.
    Might even guarantee them paradise eternal.

  5. Timbo said

    All the world religions owe islam a major debt of gratitude. This is the one religion that all the other religions can point to and say: Our religion is morally/logically superior to that one. That stupidity regarding a simple game that provides innocent innocuous enjoyment is why islam is mostly spread by intimidation. There is almost nothing of it that would attract followers of their own free will. Normally when you ask an expert to clarify some suject, the response goes – thank you for clearing that up. When these purposefully ignoramus clerics mangle logic into some grotesque monstrosity having two anuses and no head, you are inclined to say – thank you for needlessly complicating a simple subject matter and stripping it of it’s ability to make any sense so my intellect can go take a nap.

  6. Muhammad Halal Pork said

    It sounds reasonable to me. I am disappointed though that the oranges at half-time aren’t made to be halal, and prayed over when they are cut in half or quarters. I think the fatwa should have addressed this.
    Also the whistle blower. Surely there should have instead been a whip for flogging 100 times any player who broke one of these moderate rules.
    Why was there no bismillah called before the game and four more times during play?
    Also, why was not the allowance of tanks, planes, artillery and missiles allowed to be used against their enemies? I don’t know. A very moderate set of rules really.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: