13 Christmas Gifts for our Muslim Friends
Posted by The Mindset on August 27, 2011
I‘m Jewish but in my home we decorate the place for Halloween and go out trick-or-treating with our grandchildren because it is an American Holiday and certainly not because we worship witches or hobgoblins; the pagan antecedents for All Hallow’s Eve have long ago lost their significance.
In the same manner in my home we celebrate Christmas because it too has become an American Holiday. Most of the Carols we sing, the stories we tell, the decorations we hang, and the Christmas films we watch are particularly American. My two boys, ages 26 and 31, have been celebrating Christmas their entire lives without once associating the festive holiday with the name Jesus Christ.
Indeed, in my office, where all my partners are Jewish, the walls are decorated every year with Christmas wreaths and wintry ornaments. We also have set aside a day for our employees to give gifts through Secret Santa and so everyone, Jew and Gentile alike give and receive gifts. The beauty of Christianity is that its adherents do not forbid the non-Christian from celebrating its holidays or entering its most sacred of holy places.
The obvious example here is that anyone can go inside Saint Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City, one of the holiest sites and the greatest of all churches in Christendom. You, my dear infidel reader, try to walk around the Kaaba in Mecca just once, see how that goes for you.
So this Christmas, in the spirit of ecumenicalism, I think we should also offer gifts to our Muslim friends, so they don’t feel left out of the American experience.
Here are 13 suggestions of Islamic-compliant presents (Click on any image for larger view):
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No Muslim child should be without this learning toy from LEGO®. Caution: this toy is Halal only for little boys age 6 and up; little Muslim girls should not learn about wife-rape until after they are married, otherwise this toy may encourage female runaways. Comes with 23 wives and 6 year old Ayisha. LEGO® goats and camels are also available for areas with a shortage of marriage-age women (between 6 and 13 years old) so that little Ahmed doesn’t get disappointed if he can’t do it with a girl.
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This is a real handy cup for pouring gunpowder into stuffed toys. The faithful Muslim will be happy to learn that the other side says, “I hate Jews”
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A perfect gift for any Muslim man to give to his wife. She can now be monitored with these all-electronic GPS handcuffs which work similar to LoJack as a wife-recovery system. Will not work in the desert. Not legal yet in the United States. Requires 2 batteries.
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This Book title, considered a satire in Islamic countries which inspires laughter and much guffaws, is intended for distribution among liberals, dhimmis and other idiots living in Dar al-Harb, i.e., in non-Muslim countries, who actually believe this crap.
Incidentally, the title in Arabic translates to “Kill the Infidel, Slap your Wife, Rape your Daughter”.
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Taliban Barbie
Photo Credit: Jules CrittendenThe American-style Barbie is considered a Jewish emissary of nudity and moral corruption and has been banned in many Islamic rat holes. From the official website of Saudi Arabia:
Pajamas Media, Muslim World’s Vice Squads Hunt ‘Jewish’ Barbie Dolls
Jewish Barbie dolls, with their naked clothing, lewd positions, and different samples and accessories, are symbols of decadence of the perverted West. Let us recognize their danger and worry.
To counter that Zionist threat, Muslim companies have come up with Taliban Barbie. It should be noted that Taliban Barbie is anatomically correct, that is to say, her clitoris and vaginal labia have been removed with broken glass in keeping with current Muslim culture. The doll also has a small string attached to her butt that when pulled says, “I like wearing a hijab” and “I love being married to a Muslim man. Beat me! Whip me! I am unworthy!” and “I will kill myself if I am put in a toy chest with a male toy.”
Taliban Barbie is approved by UNESCO and cannot be returned if damaged since she is manufactured damaged.
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The perfect gift for that lazy, ignorant, unemployed son of a jackass that most Muslim parents are burdened with.
Guaranteed to work once. Will also wake up the entire neighborhood.
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This grenade is made especially for Palestinian children that will not accidentally detonate unless there are at least 4 Jews within killing distance. Comes with Mickey Mouse coloring book on how to pull the pin, how to look innocent during checkpoint searches, etc.
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Ahmed Get your Gun Toy. No Muslim Child should grow up without his own assault rifle.
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This game, faithfully recreated from an al-Qaeda Handbook on how to torture infidels will teach that impressionable young Muslim child how to “blowtorch to the skin” and the right way to “remove the eye.” Comes with steel mini-meat cleavers, whips, and wire cutters. The “man suspended from the ceiling by a chain” requires adult assembly.
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Actually this is a gift that Muslims can buy their Jewish friends. Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg will certainly get a bang out of this lamp when they turn it on by pulling the pin. It should be noted that the Goldbergs, lifelong Liberals, have always sided with Muslims against the interests of Israel and America, so in this regard I encourage all of my Muslim readers to buy one for their Liberal Jewish friends and co-workers.
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Similar to Parker Brothers’ Monopoly Game, this fun favorite can be enjoyed by Muslim and non-Muslim alike. In fact, in certain events, Muslim players will draw the buy a slave card and will be allowed to turn any infidels playing into slaves. It should be noted that white infidel slaves bring twice the price of African slaves. But it’s only a game and non-Muslim players can remove the shackles (sold separately) after the game ends.
Instead of Park Place and Railroads, trade routes and Oases are purchased with Oil Moneys from stupid Americans.
Mecca to Medina, How to Play
Along the way, players will find themselves bargaining and negotiating with other players to get rare resources in the game. In addition, they will also have the option of buying specialty cards like camels and caravans while trying to avoid bad events cards, which can easily turn the tide of the game.
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This Middle East toy has been a favorite since King David’s time. Teaches the Muslim youngster the physics of rock hurling and the futility of rocks slung against steel tanks.
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The perfect and appropriate gift for Muslim families in poverty and unable to feed all their children.
The manufacturer guarantees that there will be food for one more Muslim child after this toy is purchased. Fits all ages 4 through 19. Does not require that the child actually understand the purpose of wearing it. Can be detonated remotely without the wearer’s knowledge.
In case you are wondering what’s up with the broken lightbulb at the top of the post, it’s there to illustrate the problem with Muslims today. Instead of simply replacing the bulb, Muslims sit in the darkness cursing Jews and infidels for not turning on the light. The backwardness of Muslims is not because of western-supported dictators that keep them in oppression, or whatever Christians did to them in the Crusades 700 years ago, or what the West did to the Ottoman Empire after WWI. If Muslims would but renounce Islam they could once again regain their former glory. Let me paraphrase a well-known quote: The fault, dear Brutes, lies not in your stars but in yourselves.
This has been a Thursday 13 post [# 43] and is updated on certain Thursdays.
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The Mindset 
sheerin said
U such a sick person u need to get ur head checked n by the way ur version of islam is nowhere near our true religion do your homework n as u talk about my prophet no matter what everyones says about him to us muslims he is the best creation in the world n our allah is most forgiving so u should pray for all these disgusting things that urll say n by the way there’s a reason infidels are not allowed in mecca or medina n if we so bad y r all u non muslims so cut up about the fact that urll not allowed there be happy not jealous or are yourll craving to see our beautiful cities !!!!! This is jealousy from infidels n urll don’t bother us muslims in the least
The Mindset said
If you think your cities are beautiful then go and live in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Somali or Sudan.
Why not ? They are all Islamic countries. Isn’t it. So leave the british alone and live in your Islamic hellholes.
Leave the British alone.
Zainab Ibrahim said
Read my comment, I’m sure you’ll find it interesting. Dumbass, trust me, every country the British took over wanted them out. Including the Americans. So how DARE you say leave the British alone. Let’s ask:
America
France
India (Pakistan and Bangladesh)
South Africa to Egypt
Burma
Aboriginis in Australia
China
What they think of you assholes.
peter may said
yep, why are you leaving your beautiful cities to infest ours? your relgion is very very aggresive, you say anything about christianity, no one gives a shit, draw mohamed and your all up in arms! its pathetic, modern science has proved we evolved from apes wich over time evolved from the sea, there is no god anywhere, religion has always been a way to put fear into people, controling masses by a few! by the way, why do most muslim men dress and live like westerners? they gamble, use prostitutes, love money more than anything, then go to mosque on fridays? its man i fear, any god out there can kiss my lilly white arse.
Zainab Ibrahim said
Oh trust me, we would love to stop “infesting” your cities if you stopped bombing our countries. Leave the British alone? If they hadn’t colonized Pakistan (once a part of India) maybe Pakistanis (who would still be Indians) wouldn’t have to run to your joke of an Island. Afghanistan? Oh you did not just go there, maybe the Soviets and Americans could’ve blown each other up instead of picking on tiny countries like that. Somalia? Britain ruined it. Sudan, who ruined it? None other than the British. If you hadn’t fucked every country in existence up, we wouldn’t be flocking to yours. It’s like burning down every house in your neighborhood and then saying “Nope, you can’t come in my house.” Well guess what, we come to your countries because we have to, not because we want to. So get over yourselves and appreciate the fact that you live in a time where Christianity and white people are on top.
The Mindset said
I am NOT British you stupid cockroach.Who is the Dumba$$ here now?
This is you : (_?_)
Prithvi said
idiot zainab it was the british who reforme their colonies,who told muslims to attack persia,egypt,spain and india, and to your beloved somalia its is your muslim millitants who ruined the country
Stuti said
Dear Zainab, please do not cry. Your ancestors of 1400 years, have shed more blood globally than can be shed in the next 5000 years. And they were all inspired by your cult leader. So why complain when Americans bomb your cities. In any case, today muslims are shedding muslim blood more than non-muslims.
Lorna said
That last part has always the case since day one. Plus muslims have been and always will be the number one slave trader in the world, greatest human rights offender in the world etc. lol but it’s white people done the wrong thing
Roflmao
Kate said
I find this really offensive. I came here genuinely looking for something I could get for my friend who is from Pakistan and studying at my university, and I find this racist drivel. I can’t believe this sort of discrimination is still happening, it’s just not fair. If people stopped instilling hate then perhaps there would be more peace in the world. Different cultures can live side by side peacefully, and even interact like the human beings they are, instead of the behaviour you are encouraging. I don’t know if that 21st century memo has reached you yet?
The Mindset said
you must be a retard, because only a retard will have friendship with Muslims and that too from pakistan.
David said
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen who have posted the previous comments.
Shame on all of you. None of you are truly Muslim, Christian or Jewish.
All of these faiths are based on the same beliefs in the One God. The word of God is to Love ones fellow man and to worship the One God. His Prophets. whether he was named Muhammed, Jesus or Moses all preached basically the same message. Love Honour and serve, do not Kill etc., etc.
Unfortunately throughout history there have been many leaders of many countries who have disregarded these basic rules in order to gain power and money.
These leaders go against one of the greatest of God’s Laws. To NOT take the Lord God’s name in vain. In other words do not make war in the name of God.
There are many examples of this, the wars between Christians and Muslims in the Middle Ages, the occupation of Muslim Palestine by the Jews, the present day conflicts in the Middle East where one branch of Islam is trying to impose their will over other Muslims.
Aliza said
So true
David williams said
I am a white christian and I am proud to sponsor a muslin girl. I just have this to say as quoted by your own text’s the Jews are a stiff necked people, judging by your site you don’t have any compassion and as such are a disgrace to your God and religion why don’t you try peaceful coexistence with your fellow man.